Why I wear a veil in the Presence of God...

This is a seemingly Catholic post, but I wanted to post it because I wish to explain to you all why I do what I do. If you wish to read it, by all means do, but if you don't, I would also understand, in which case, please just pass this post by.

I've been asked by a number of people over the years why I wear a veil when I go to Church or am in the convent, whether it be for Mass, The Divine Office (i.e. Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night Prayer, Prayer of the Church) or just for private, personal time with God. Some people seem to think that it's all about people trying to be "holier than thou" or trying to associate themselves with a particular group of people, i.e. those who would rather opt for the Latin Mass, because for some reason, they don't think the English Masses are "holy enough". For me, it's a totally different story.

I'm a convert to the faith, though I was brought up Catholic by others around me. I was in a Catholic hospital while sick as a child, and looked after by Catholic maids a lot of the time. From the age of three I wanted to be "at one with God" and "Catholic". I don't think I knew what that meant at that young age. As I grew older, I desired more and more the Eucharist (the real presence of Jesus in Holy Communion). I came to know that where the Eucharist was possessed a particularly unique and special presence of God. There was peace in my heart and a very strong desire to grow closer to God. 

From the age of 13 or 14, I recall a conversation I had with my Religious Studies teacher. By that time, I was in a Catholic girls' school. I spoke to her about wearing a veil, because I had that desire in my heart and never really knew where it came from. Then she told me it was a tradition in the Church quite some time ago and wasn't popular now. But that didn't stop me. For me, I was hungry and thirsty for God, so much so that nothing would satisfy me, and I was contemplating Religious Life (as in becoming a nun (enclosed, stay in the monastery) or Religious Sister (open, go out of the convent with active ministries)). There was so much to suggest that I really and truly had the desire to give myself fully to God, and consecrate my life to Him.

The first time I wore a veil in Church I was 16. I wasn't even officially Catholic then. I only received the sacraments of the Church at 18. But I always veiled. I had the innermost peace that I cannot explain to you. The desire to veil was so strong in me, like a tugging at my heart. There was a radiance that somehow attracted people to talk to me, and I learned many things from those whom I spoke to. Somehow, veiling in the presence of God made me grow closer to God. I felt more fully alive, more fully human, and more fully myself since I started veiling, because it expressed my whole being in the deepest sense – my femininity, my desire to keep certain things hidden from everyone else, as to set them aside for God, and my desire to grow in modesty and humility.

Later, I discovered that there is also another meaning in veiling. The three corners of the veil are said to protect women under the Holy Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). St Paul has written that it is “for the sake of the angels”. But it’s not only Catholic women who veil. Last Lent I went on a walk of faith with people from different Churches in the local area. It was a silent walk, apart from the hymns sung at each Church we passed by. I met some women from the local Bruderhof Christian Community living nearby. It turned out that they actually help out at the Catholic Primary School attached to my home parish. After that, I went to their community house to spend time with them as I had made some friends there. I would cook with them, sing with them, pray with them and just enjoy their company. They had told me that they veil full time (as in they always wear a veil wherever they go, no matter what they are doing) to protect them from evil. I found it very interesting.

So, those are some of the reasons why I wear a veil. It’s not to say I am better than anyone else, but rather it is an expression of my deep love for God and the desire to love and serve Him by sharing His love with others. When I say, “sharing His love with others” I don’t mean shoving Bible verses at you and shouting down the street how much Jesus loves you (which, by the way, He most definitely does, and very much) but rather just by being there for those in need, loving those around me as much as I humanly can (I’m not perfect, so please forgive me when I make mistakes) and just trying to be a good person. So there you go, that’s why I love to veil – for the greater glory of God.