Trusting in God and Giving Him Praise, Even In Times of Trouble

Trusting in God and Giving Him Praise, Even In Times of Trouble
- Kim Lee G.

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. We have to remember that “God works with those who love Him…and will turn all to their good” (Romans 8:28) because “if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). We need to trust in the Lord, and know that “there is a time for everything…and all will be done in God’s time” (Ecclesiastes 3). So often, we react too fast to situations. We fail to trust that God has a plan for us. Our imagination is taken over by the temptations of blowing up a situation to more than it perhaps is, or pretending it is something else. It’s like Dante’s Divine Comedy where Dante goes to Hell and sees the devil up to his waist in ice making a lot of noise. Actually, that’s what temptation is – a lot of noise made by the evil one. In actual fact, there isn’t really much he can do, but in our imagination, we blow it out of proportion because of the temptations and manipulations of the evil one.

However, it is out intellect and our will that is sacred and untouchable. These are what we can use to help make good decisions. However, we have a very human desire to be in control all the time, but actually, “sometimes it is better to wait in silence for God to save” (Lamentations 3:25) because it is not for us “to know (the) times or dates that the Father has decided by His own authority” (Acts 1:7).
Therefore, we should “commit (ourselves) to the Lord, trust in Him and He will act” (Psalm 37:5) because, as St. Paul writes, “Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited, it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or store up grievances. Love does not rejoice at wrong doing, but finds joy in the Truth” (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). God is love, and He loves us all as His own. In the first letter of St. John it is written, “everyone whose life is upright is a child of God” (1 John 2:29), so we must love all people as our own brothers and sisters, and as ourselves. Even “if the world hates you, you must realise that it hated me (Jesus) before it hated you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you do not belong to the world, because my choice of you has drawn you out of the world, that is why the world hates you” (John 15:18-19). We are also told that “if they (the world) persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they kept my word, they will keep yours too” (John 15:20).

So, we need to realise that living the Christian life is not easy. In fact, we are asked to live a life where our values are contrary to society’s values, where our moral standards must be higher than simply following the law set by the government. However, remember that suffering can lead to compassion if you allow it to. For example, if you went through a particular struggle, say domestic violence or mental illness, then one day in the future, you can use that to serve God by helping someone who is struggling with those things. You could be compassionate and help the person walk that part of their journey and persevere because you had been through it yourself. So, never underestimate the sufferings you have been asked to bear. Instead, unite them to the Cross of Jesus and use them for the good of others, for the glory of God.

So, in all things, remember to pray to the Lord and ask for His guidance. Trust in Him to take care of all your needs and intentions, in your joy and in your suffering. Praise Him always, and bless His holy name. “Therefore hold back nothing of yourselves, for yourselves, so that He who gives Himself totally to you,
may receive you totally” (St. Francis of Assisi - Letter to the Entire Order 29).

Why I wear a veil in the Presence of God...

This is a seemingly Catholic post, but I wanted to post it because I wish to explain to you all why I do what I do. If you wish to read it, by all means do, but if you don't, I would also understand, in which case, please just pass this post by.

I've been asked by a number of people over the years why I wear a veil when I go to Church or am in the convent, whether it be for Mass, The Divine Office (i.e. Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night Prayer, Prayer of the Church) or just for private, personal time with God. Some people seem to think that it's all about people trying to be "holier than thou" or trying to associate themselves with a particular group of people, i.e. those who would rather opt for the Latin Mass, because for some reason, they don't think the English Masses are "holy enough". For me, it's a totally different story.

I'm a convert to the faith, though I was brought up Catholic by others around me. I was in a Catholic hospital while sick as a child, and looked after by Catholic maids a lot of the time. From the age of three I wanted to be "at one with God" and "Catholic". I don't think I knew what that meant at that young age. As I grew older, I desired more and more the Eucharist (the real presence of Jesus in Holy Communion). I came to know that where the Eucharist was possessed a particularly unique and special presence of God. There was peace in my heart and a very strong desire to grow closer to God. 

From the age of 13 or 14, I recall a conversation I had with my Religious Studies teacher. By that time, I was in a Catholic girls' school. I spoke to her about wearing a veil, because I had that desire in my heart and never really knew where it came from. Then she told me it was a tradition in the Church quite some time ago and wasn't popular now. But that didn't stop me. For me, I was hungry and thirsty for God, so much so that nothing would satisfy me, and I was contemplating Religious Life (as in becoming a nun (enclosed, stay in the monastery) or Religious Sister (open, go out of the convent with active ministries)). There was so much to suggest that I really and truly had the desire to give myself fully to God, and consecrate my life to Him.

The first time I wore a veil in Church I was 16. I wasn't even officially Catholic then. I only received the sacraments of the Church at 18. But I always veiled. I had the innermost peace that I cannot explain to you. The desire to veil was so strong in me, like a tugging at my heart. There was a radiance that somehow attracted people to talk to me, and I learned many things from those whom I spoke to. Somehow, veiling in the presence of God made me grow closer to God. I felt more fully alive, more fully human, and more fully myself since I started veiling, because it expressed my whole being in the deepest sense – my femininity, my desire to keep certain things hidden from everyone else, as to set them aside for God, and my desire to grow in modesty and humility.

Later, I discovered that there is also another meaning in veiling. The three corners of the veil are said to protect women under the Holy Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). St Paul has written that it is “for the sake of the angels”. But it’s not only Catholic women who veil. Last Lent I went on a walk of faith with people from different Churches in the local area. It was a silent walk, apart from the hymns sung at each Church we passed by. I met some women from the local Bruderhof Christian Community living nearby. It turned out that they actually help out at the Catholic Primary School attached to my home parish. After that, I went to their community house to spend time with them as I had made some friends there. I would cook with them, sing with them, pray with them and just enjoy their company. They had told me that they veil full time (as in they always wear a veil wherever they go, no matter what they are doing) to protect them from evil. I found it very interesting.

So, those are some of the reasons why I wear a veil. It’s not to say I am better than anyone else, but rather it is an expression of my deep love for God and the desire to love and serve Him by sharing His love with others. When I say, “sharing His love with others” I don’t mean shoving Bible verses at you and shouting down the street how much Jesus loves you (which, by the way, He most definitely does, and very much) but rather just by being there for those in need, loving those around me as much as I humanly can (I’m not perfect, so please forgive me when I make mistakes) and just trying to be a good person. So there you go, that’s why I love to veil – for the greater glory of God.  

New Year...New Beginnings...

As the New Year comes, so do New Beginnings...

Each day passes with a flash. It seems the days just pass so swiftly that you don't really notice them anymore. One minute you just started University, the next, you're now a senior to the new intake. Many lessons have been learned, and many opportunities to grow have presented themselves. But that's not the main focus. What concerns me is what can be done in the future to continue growing and building for the future?

Decisions and Decisions and Thoughts...

Each day I think and pray about many things. Naturally, I am a very deep thinker. I care a lot about people and have what some may consider to be strongly rooted values and views. I know what I believe, where I stand with most issues and who I want to be. Notice the word want, implying that I am not there yet. I know my imperfections, my humanity (and hence, human nature), my flaws, but also my strengths. To some extent I am outgoing and articulate, especially among those close to me, but I also crave silence at the same time. I long for the interior silence I once found, and once had, that for a long while I have not been able to have. I've struggled lately to quieten my heart from all that's going on around me and just focus on God. It's made me play up a lot in classes and around people in ways I normally wouldn't. I just haven't been myself.
At the moment, I have a number of tough decisions to make. I don't want to leave anything too late. I need to make up my mind soon because, as it is in the human world (and I am thankful God is outside time), there are deadlines. To some extent, I am comforted by the words we can meditate upon in Ecclesiastes 3 - "there is a time for everything...and all will be done in God's time". I recall something my parish priest in England said to me, "when we seek to do God's Will, we live at a divine rhythm, one that does not follow the human rhythm of things, so it's normal to feel nervous and a bit uneasy". In fact, my formation mistress from when I was in the Pre-Postulant Candidacy said this to me, "it means you are taking it seriously if you are nervous". The thing is, after discerning for so long, I was sure I knew where I was going. I spent six years discerning God's Will, maybe even to the extent of begging Him for a Religious Vocation. I was so close to entering Postulancy, and a month before entering wanted to run a million miles away from God, it was so overwhelming. I was so sad with everything that my parents had said about me entering (having been against it for many years) and I was under a lot of pressure not to enter. I felt unsteady and not ready. I never bothered to express that until I went to the convent on what would have been my entrance date for a meeting with the formation director. I told her then that I wanted to delay, and that's how I ended up on a degree course. When I told other people I wouldn't be entering in 2014, they were surprised. I wasn't. I felt like I needed some space, some time away from all I knew back home to really discern God's Will.
Honestly, it's been a complete roller coaster ride.  Normally, I enjoy silence. I like quietness, and I'm known to be quite soft spoken and quiet unless with people I know very well and am very close to. The only exception to that is music. I love music. I enjoy writing and composing songs - I have two albums and am writing a third.Those who know me well will have seen me when I'm working, thinking and praying. I will be totally silent. You won't hear me speak. You will see my type and write, and draw, but not speak. I love to stay constantly in prayer too. Jesus blesses me with many beautiful images, using my imagination to reveal Truths to me. It is indescribably peaceful. :) I know God loves us all, no matter what, and I am constantly reminded that "do not be afraid" is in scripture 365 times - once for every day. Let us end on that note. God bless!

The little things...

I used to think that life was all about the big things - the highlights, the milestones, and the landmarks. I now know that's not the case. As a matter of fact, it is indeed the little things we remember. The things like the gentleman who held the door open for me, the bus driver who waited for me to run for the bus, the person who gave me change for the machine for when I didn't have any. I remember even the look of my friends when I first met them, even those I've known for years. These are the kinds of things we never forget. The little details are what makes the world a better place.

These are the things I remember, and the things I think people should pay more attention to. It just makes life a little easier and a little brighter at times.

Thank-you to all the people who are kind and helpful, who always try to do the little things to make a difference in people's lives. :)

In University until 3am and beyond...

I tried an experiment today. I decided to stay at the atrium garden until past 3am. The security guard came and switched the lights off, so we packed our things and followed a random student down the lift to near the biology labs. He showed us the place where we could stay until 5am, or even beyond that. However, throughout the night, at regular intervals, I walked around the college grounds. I saw students and observed their behaviour. I found it very interesting. Some were studying, while others were gaming or watching things online. Some were with friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, and others were alone. I wondered why these students didn't go home and why they were there so late. I just sincerely hope that the reason they don't go back is because they don't have a proper place to go back, or that it's really difficult to study where they are staying.
I don't really know these students who stay on campus so late, but I pray that they will be okay. 
Thus ends the write-up! x

Thinking and thinking...

Recently, I've been told that I "think too much". It's not coming from one person, but from several different people, including both men and women, both those close to me and those who hardly know me at all. It's been worrying me actually. Naturally, I've always been a reflective person. I remember one particular time in the convent, before I was received as a Candidate, when my formation mistress told me she thought I was a naturally reflective person, and wasn't surprised when I wrote about six pages on the prayer of San Damiano in one hour when asked to carry out a devotional exercise one weekend. That was a time when my reflective personality and gift of reflection could be used to the full. I could write many, many things on different topics, and bring in all God has placed around me as my inspiration. These things are what I enjoyed sharing with many. I've always loved to see people smile and receive those words, the insights prompted by the Holy Spirit and find joy. 

I don't really know how to respond to certain situations. When people tell me I think too much, I think I end up thinking more. I become more of an interior thinker, but I don't tell people that. What's inside my mind? Well, lots of things. I care about everyone and anyone I meet. Those whom I know, and those I don't. For me, everyone is a member of my extended family. It's something I learned when I discovered the charism of the Franciscan Minoress. It is something I will always take with me in life, no matter what happens. I remember as a child asking God, "To whom am I supposed to give all this love to? The love that you bestow upon me, which you have blessed me with? It is so empowering, so strong, burning like fire wanting to spread." God blessed me with the love for all people, for poor and rich, sick and healthy, sane and insane, in all things, God has blessed me with a brilliant love, not only for and of Himself, but for every single one of His children too. It is so beautiful. This is my thinking when I do things for people, when I help them, when I spend time with them. I am not perfect, though I am always aware and thinking of how to share God's love with them in the little things. :)

So, forgive me if I over analyse situations. I really don't mean to. In fact, it's only because I really, and truly care about you. If I didn't, then the simple fact would be that I would take things lightly and brush them off, but I don't. I hope you understand. 

With love and prayer.

Consummatum est.